Whenever a change has come you are not quite sure, at the back of your mind, whether it is really God-directed or brought about by the forces of evil. But the more hopeful side of you seems to be able to see in this the fulfilment of the first of the promises, so often repeated in your records.
God understands this two-fold attitude completely. Understands in a very definite way that even as the more buoyant side of you surmises, the change is indeed God-directed, and it is but a forerunner of many changes; of much growth in a physical, mental and spiritual way.
In regard to the cause, it is much better to make a valiant effort to leave the subject. It is not easy when one has suffered to cover up the grave in which lies so much; to cover it in and to plant flowers on the outside. It seems like mockery to attempt to produce beauty out of that which represents to you only ugliness and evil. But still, as ever, you must choose the hardest part. Do not only cover that grave of memory but attune your mind to God so that in time to come you will find, to your astonishment and delight, little blossoms here and there. Those blossoms will have the power to make you forget that which lies beneath forever!
A subject which is always recurring is the physical will. With the majority of people it is a battle that has to be fought again and again, and a battle which exacts much in pain and in disappointment. It does have rather a dreary sound, and it is one of those things which goes alongside with duty; grey, distasteful, something you don't want to hear about. Yet that is not the aspect at all with which you are presented, far from that. Try and gather in something of the impression you are left with, and at the same time realise that you are only taught this in order to bring you comfort and to take the pain and the chill from your heart and mind which these contests always leave behind.
In the first place, the physical will is not an enemy. It seems so to you because it is, apparently, in the opposing camp to the spirit. But this is a wrong impression altogether. The physical will, as you will find later on, is one of the best friends you ever had. It is out to challenge you, the real you, but that is its business and its purpose!
You can understand quite well that if the spirit within had nothing to fight against, very little could be added to the gain side. Very little strength, very little growth, and so much valuable time would be wasted. You would be the first to mourn when you found out how matters stood.
So remember, the physical will is not an enemy. It is so closely associated with your spiritual individuality that it is a matter for grief when the physical will is absent. In that case the soul is in its very early stages.
The physical will is the materialisation of the spiritual will and it is significant of the strength and the determination of the higher you within. But do not confuse this. It is not a physical will that sets itself against God's purpose, which resists to the end the trend of your life and which uses the power given to bring evil to the soul rather than the good that God intended. You must distinguish between a misdirected physical will and a physical will which wishes to agree to the plans of God, but finds great difficulty in doing so.
It is a fine point and many confuse it, bringing sorrow to themselves and to those who heed the opinions they express.
You have had all sorts of trouble over this same physical will, and you have come to regard it as a second only to the evil one himself. You see how the shadows play upon the imagination!
Your Heavenly Father does not regard this development of individuality as a crime, but He grieves because it exacts so much from the child He would protect. He sorrows for your sorrow, and He tries again and again to lift you from the bitterness which follows.
In this world it is not considered a good sign when a child shows what you would call very little character. In fact, you shake your head with misgiving. It is a pity, you think, that there is not more there! Yet on the other hand, when the little one who has definitely developed character expresses itself in naughtiness and self-will, you sigh there as well. It is a difficult problem. But put that second child in their right environment, teach them, train them and, above all, influence them to surrender their heart to God, and you will have a very fine person indeed and one that will leave a mark on the lives and memory of others.
It is a perfectly reasonable, common sense, way of looking at things. In the Spirit World that is one of the first things the Spirits have to learn; to get the proper balance, for in the God-Mind the balance is perfect.
Of course, in the training process suffering must come and life seems a very hard and unlovely thing. But presently the physical will settles down; it is not broken, that would be the worst cast of all, but it settles down, and the thinking part of the mind helps a lot in the beginning. . It takes the practical point of view, arguing what the use of banging your head against a stone wall would be. The answer comes at once, no use whatsoever! That is the first, the elementary stage, necessary because you cannot jump from one extreme to the other. Presently, however, the conviction is borne in upon the mind that not only was the resisting waste of strength but, after all, things didn't work out so badly. That is a big step forward because it brings hope into the consideration of the matter, and you cannot get on without hope; not in the way of happiness. Later, the last stage during physical life is the surrendering of the will to God trusting, trusting that He knows best. Then happiness can come inside and can hold its own against all the enemies without. The faith and the trust are there and God does the rest!
Therefore, it is not so dreadful to have a rebellious will, nor is it so disheartening. It is a stage of growth, and sooner or later that same will shall be brought into harmony with the spiritual will, which means unity with God for ever more.
Yet in delaying the offering up of that will, unconsciously you make it easier for the shadows to influence you, and when this happens not only are the plans of God hindered but the process is very painful indeed. Promise yourself that you will try still more, first of all, to see, as well as to say, that God's ways are best. Then so educate your physical mind that in those ways is revealed to you something of that deep, wide river of Love, which is there in all its strength and power.
Think it over, pray over it, ask for illumination and it will come. You shall say that God is Love, and love for God fills your heart and mind because He loved you first.
In all this discipline of the physical will there are little steps cut by you, sometimes with anguish and often with reluctance, but cut by you up that steep hill of promise which you have been climbing for so long. Those battles have not been on the loss side; the pain so expended has not been wasted in any sense there could be. Not one tussle has not taken you a point higher, for, in the end, to the best of your ability, you followed the direction of the Master.
Do not be deceived; do not be downhearted because of the multitude of those struggles. Say to yourself instead that the past is past, it has taken you this far, and God has made good that which you failed to do yourself. God will make good that which the spirit longs to attain to, using even for His purpose that physical will which cost so much!
Take heart; and in the Name of the Christ draw on to you closer and closer still not only faith and certainty but hope, and turn aside forever from that terribly familiar grey shadow of sorrow. Go forward in the Name of the Christ, rising on that which was even the greatest obstacle in your path, and attaining to the strength which only comes from weakness fought and struggled through during the dark days of suffering. "Let not your hearts be troubled for I will send you a Comforter". In a measure you cannot understand the Comforter which is bestowed upon you, and if you could but grasp it you would know that with that most precious possession physical life can strike you no more.
Be glad in the Lord for He is mighty and has great compassion on all His children. He extends a helping Hand to those who wish to rise and wish to do His will. Let the balm of His love so close the wounds in heart and mind that the power of the Comforter may be felt and held, and given out again to others, for this is God's will and His holy purpose.
On going through your mind God finds that a lot has been covered. Have lots of plans for the future, and in those plans rule outside misgiving, doubt, memory of suffering, and all those other depressing clouds that cluster so thickly around. Clear the ground of the briars and the thorns which lie between you and the clear path of peace.
Remember the lines; "Renew my will from day to day
Blend it with Thine, and take away
All that now makes it hard to say -
Thy will be done!
Those words bring to the physical mind a sense of dismay. You have got into the habit of associating "Thy will be done" with fresh trouble and accumulated disillusionments. View it instead in the spiritual way, in the way that God would have you take. Be convinced that in saying "Thy will be done" you are linking yourself immediately to happiness and not to fresh trouble. The sorrow comes because the physical mind cannot say "Thy will be done".
See the vision glorious, see the result, but not result in the same sense as you use that word. Result to you generally implies the final stage; that is because of the finite mind. In the Spirit World result is but that stage which in each case is essential in order to produce the next and the next. The harvest in your world means the clearing of the field; in the Spirit World the Spirits reap what they have sown, but instead of sharp stubble remaining behind the green shoots are showing again, and there is no end to this forever and ever.
You see the distinction between result in the physical and the spiritual worlds!
When God speaks it heartens you. Try and cling more closely to this heartened feeling. Do not let the enemy suggest anything at all, because behind even the simplest suggestion is the covert dart of evil. Put it all from you. Remember what you have been told; visualise to yourself the harvest which is never over, the result of labour which leads on but to additional results. The thing itself growing and expanding point by point, not only renewing itself at each fresh stage, but extending in beauty and in power, and linking itself ever more closely to the things which are of the Spirit, and to the Love which is of God.
Let nothing come between you and this work. Evil seeks to disguise itself in the ordinary common-place details of everyday life. Frame your life so that God comes first, and then, in His Name, all the rest will fit in without effort on your part and without the worry which is connected with it now.
Light after darkness, calm after storm, rest after weariness, and God over all. Raise your mind from the valley to on High, to the Spirit, but forever remembering that the Christ walks by your side and that through Him and in Him you are made one with the Father and with the Holy Spirit; one in Love, and Love in you.
